The most popular question I've received over and over again is "are you going to find out what you're having?" or "do you know the gender yet?" Well, would it be unlike D and I to go for the surprise, not at all. We made the decision really early on and really quickly to be surprised. It may have been easier to find out the sex, or to wait for the surprise with a subsequent child but heck, that isn't how we role. Not to mention what if this happens to be our only one? So we roll, having no idea what gender our 1st little surprise miracle will be.
So do I think I know what gender this growing baby is? Nope, not really. Although I've had my hunches it could be a girl from day one but I'm not banking that. Girls name options tend to come to me more often than boys do but I don't think that means anything. Right now, our little one has been referred to has Baby Mathenos, Baby Nugget, and sometimes Daniel says Shim (which I'm not so much a fan of, but it's his sense of humor). What is exciting is, everyone has been supportive of our decision to not find out. I guess maybe its the "old soul" in me.
By nature, I'm a planner but this feels right. I'm sure it makes things slightly more difficult- like what color do we do the baby room, what is the shower theme, etc. But in all honesty, we'll love whatever gender we get, and this helps us to keep it much more simple :) It is so nice that D and I were on the same page from the get go about this decision.
I've got 3 more weeks till my week 20 ultrasound. I wonder if I'll have mixed feelings then? After that it will get easy, we will meet baby when baby Mathenos decides to arrive! Which we CAN'T wait for! Whether I will feel the same about this decision in a few months, I do not know but here are our reasons for now:
1) We need a surprise, to keep life exciting! Every marriage needs it's surprises. The last big one for us was probably the engagement. It keeps a marriage exciting. This miracle surprise really make us giggle again. So why not share another eventful moment seeing the sex together for the first time?
2) Gender neutral baby things allows our baby to be what he or she will be! It also fits my style... simple and chic, not too girly, not too masculine. I think our world is taunted with images of "what should be." Those images put pressure from the get-go on things. I want our baby and child to be able to fully express him or herself. I think it starts here. There is nothing wrong with knowing and in no way am I implying that people do this. Its just what we've decided. Not to mention, I live a fairly simplistic life compared to most and I think gender neutral helps us to maintain that simplicity.
3) It helps us to be "in the moment" each day. This piggy backs reason #2. I can't do too much planning ahead for future years without knowing the sex. It helps us be in the here and now. Is the lump moving? Nope not yet, is the lump lopsided, some days (thats probably from crossing my legs).
4) Does gender really matter? We'll love and accept this kiddo no matter what. I don't have a preference and it helps me to stay that way. Keeping and open heart and open mind is good for everyone!
Book I'm reading now: The Untethered Soul
I actually am taking a break from all the wonderful baby reading. This book is good for my soul, learning to stay in the moment and continually quieting the mind. I love to learn and read but I am loving this little break for my baby mind too.
Books I've found helpful:
- The Better Baby Book: this book really helped me to hone in my nutrition early on. I should go back and re-read it now actually. I took in a lot and there is a TON of information on food and supplements.
- Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby and Child Care: loving this book. I don't do it all completely due to my diet, but I do; however, find this information extremely helpful in our decision making process. I read up the entire prenatal part, baby part, and have paused after the first year or two. I'll catch up on that part in the third trimester, hopefully!